The cup is on the table.
I think.
I don’t remember placing it there.
But I don’t remember looking for it either.
Only the need to verify it.
It wasn’t important.
Until it was.
The alarm goes off three minutes early.
Always.
That isn’t new.
What is new is noticing it.
I start thinking I’m not observing objects.
I’m observing the way I verify them.
But that idea doesn’t fully fit.
Nothing fully fits since I started paying attention.
The cup is closer.
I haven’t moved.
There is no record of movement.
Only a shift in certainty.
I try to remember where it was before.
I only remember trusting it was elsewhere.
That is not the same thing.
But it behaves as if it is.
The neck appears.
I don’t try to move it.
That is no longer relevant.
What matters is when I stopped noticing it could move.
The screen stays on.
I think.
Sometimes it happens without being on.
Sometimes it stops being on without turning off.
I don’t know which version is correct.
I begin writing an explanation.
I delete it.
Not because it is wrong.
Because it was already here before I wrote it.
I am not sure I wrote the previous line.
But it is there.
And that shouldn’t be possible.
The cup is still on the table.
That is no longer a fact.
It is a condition.
I start suspecting something.
Not the cup.
But the need to look at it.
The need doesn’t seem to come from me.
But it doesn’t seem to come from outside either.
The alarm rings again.
Three minutes early.
Before what, I don’t know.
I try to stop verifying.
But stopping is another form of verifying.
The cup is closer.
Or I am closer to it.
Or neither of those statements makes sense.
I don’t know when this started.
Only that every attempt to find the beginning leads to an earlier verification.
Always an earlier one.
And then the correct doubt appears.
Not whether the cup changes.
But whether it exists without being verified.
I don’t answer.
Because the answer already seems written.
Before the question.
The final crack
The cup is still on the table.
I don’t know if that is stability.
Or repetition.
Or proof.
Only that I’m still looking.
And that it doesn’t seem to end.
I have to move the neck I am not moving it I should…
