In the Sade mechanism, time does not appear as flow, but as verification.
I notice it before I look at the clock.
Not the hour.
The state of the hour.
The room is already later than it should be.
I do not know how that is measured.
But the air confirms it before thought does.
I try to remember when the waiting began.
But waiting has no origin.
Only layers that were already here when I try to locate them.
There is a mark on the wall that does not match the moment I first saw it.
It was not there before.
Or it was.
But in a different order.
I have checked the clock.
Twice.
The second time I no longer knew why I had checked it the first time.
The hand does not move differently.
It is me who no longer matches it.
On the table there is a folded note.
I do not remember seeing it.
Only one line:
“You have not reached this minute yet.”
I read it again.
Not because I do not understand it.
But because I do not know whether it describes the present…
or precedes it.
I check the time again.
It has not changed.
But something in the room has.
I do not know what.
The chalk on the wall feels thicker.
As if time did not pass through it…
but accumulated inside it.
The system does not register time passing.
It retains it.
There is a moment where I try to decide whether I am waiting for something.
But the question arrives late.
I was already waiting before I formed it.
I have to move my neck.
I am not moving it.
I do not know whether the movement has not started…
or whether it already happened and I have not yet arrived at verifying it.
My neck I am not moving it…
